"homework" *tired zombie noises*
"studying" *sad zombie noises*
"responsibilities" *disgusted zombie noises*
"internet" *happy zombie noises*
those jerks at culinary school always called me a weenie but look at me now
I’ve just cried laughing at the comments on a Jamie Oliver recipe, there was a typo on the website and everyone put 13 lemons into a pasta sauce and didn’t even question it. Imagine eating 13 lemons, the recipe was for 4 people, imagine having that much trust in Jamie Oliver.
i want to kiss you and take cute pictures with you and go on stupid dates but I also want tO DESTRYO YOU AT MAR IO KART
when u open some food in front of ur friends
when you try to push up your glasses but forget you took them off so you just kinda hit your face
bisexual people aren’t more likely to cheat in relationships but we are more likely to cheat at cards, while lesbians are most likely to cheat at jenga, and genderqueer people often cheat at mario kart
how the fuck do you cheat at jenga
ask a lesbian
this is never not funny
1.PLUG IN YOUR HEADPHONES.
DO NOT LISTEN WITHOUT HEADPHONES!
3.CLOSE YOUR EYES.
ENJOY A VIRTUAL HAIRCUT.
DO IT NOW.
THIS IS LITERALLY LIFE CHANGING.
Woah, I actually got chills when he whispered.
OMG. I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS FOR MONTHS. FINALLY REAPPEARED ON MY DASH.
I thought this would be like; “Oh cool. Yeah, that sounded like a haircut.”
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.
YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.
YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND.
The back of my head is tingling.
WHEN HE WHISPERED, I FELT HIS BREATH ON MY EAR, AND I’M HOME ALONE IN A LOCKED ROOM, AND I HAD MY EYES CLOSED, AND FORGOT WHERE I WAS. JESUS CHRIST.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! WHEN HE WHISPERED THAT REALLY FREAKED ME OUT. I FELT LIKE HE WAS RIGHT THERE.
omg at the beginning I thought someone was trying to break into my house!!
fuck this I literally just thought someone was at my window and my heart is pounding
I laughed out loud at the tickling from the buzzer wtf
had my headphones on the wrong way round at irst. this is amazing
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
I FLIPPED MY SHOT WHEN HE PUT THE BAG OVER MY HEAD AND WHISPERED IN MY EAR
I LITTERALY FORGOT WHERE I WAS
THAT WAS AMAZING
WHAT THE FUCK
YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THOS AND LISTEN TO IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH
i love when old people figure out how to do something on a computer that’s actually really simple but to them it’s like
This just increased my giraffe obsession.
i almost weeped